Friday, April 15, 2011

Day of Silence

     Yes, I did participate. I have so many gay, lesbian, and bi friends, and they're all the best of the best people. Therefore, I always try to support them whenever I can. I want to live for the day that they will make it a federal law that it's illegal for states to keep two people of the same sex from marrying. How dare a government tell someone who NOT to marry? Then all the abuse and mistreatment the LGBT community has to go through on a day-to-day basis? It really makes me sad. I don't understand where a lot of people are coming from with the hate, and it always confuses me.

     Sooo the silence. I'm not gonna lie, it was really hard, but I actually liked it. I know my loudness is obnoxious, but at times it's almost uncontrollable. Back in middle school, I spent so much time trying to be like the other girls, that even after they changed and tuned it down, their habits still became a part of me. My mom is usually the person who will tell me I'm being loud and then I'll come to the same realization and feel as if I was just yelling at the top of my lungs. It bothers me, and I want to change that, but it seems so natural, almost. I slipped about 3 or 4 times today. I was really only little whispers, but I noticed that it was never when I was talking to someone. It  was always my opinions about things that I struggled to keep quiet about. Things I saw around me that I wanted to vocally respond to, but decided not to, or maybe my words slipped. It was a slight realization for me. What I realized? I actually don't know, but I just know that that's an important factor to something about me and who I am. I just need to think it through and dig a little deeper into myself . . .
    Eww. Dig. I don't wanna uncover all of that. But I guess I'll have to sooner or later...