The Great Escape

This goes out to all the people in the bloody sufferings, the stains of lost love and emotions seems so overpowering You’re in a war full of battles tempting the demise of love. You’re waiting for redemption and the Savior to come from above. But, I must inform you that that ain’t all it took For me to open my eyes, scope around the place and look. It’s deeper than just wanting to know what comes next. It’s breaking down the walls and giving up your very best. It definitely ain’t as easy as it sounds, especially when you feel as if there’s no one else around. It's really not easy as it sounds especially when no one’s there. Like you’re the only person without a perfect life. It’s not fair. Just have faith. Realize and believe that the tree you planted once used to be a seed. This is for the ones who go through all the stress Of tryna love someone who only knows how to reject. It’s hard, yes I know— and you can tell me that I’m wrong. Just, realize that the constant trials help to make you strong. You’ve been looking for a way to find the Great Escape. And every time you cry, Ain’t no one there to wipe your eyes. Will this ever go away? Can you live your life? You’ve been lookin’ to escape the adversities and strife. And I know that things may not always turn out to be what they should be. But the only thing that matters is that I have hope and still believe That Karma still exists for all of human kind. It’s the people with the evil eyes that always end up blind. But that’s fine. Don’t worry about them. I know I was still a good person in the end. And always I tried my very best to strive For the fame, success, happiness and the good life. I am making ends meet, and I am staying strong, Though I sweat in the heat, I shan't be here very long. ‘Cause I’m free. I fly— Unbound from my chains. I’m crossing out the lists of “what ifs” and “never agains.” I am now a bird soaring in the sky. My dreams are now reality and so is living life. They said I wouldn’t make it, but see, look at where I am. I’ve helped so many people that they stick to me like plans. I have never gone astray from looking for the Great Escape. And every time I’ve cried, There was still hope in my eyes. Now this will never go away… For I have found the Great Escape. I can start living my life. That’s why today I fly… I have inherited royalty. I am a princess. Don’t care what your do or don’t believe. I do deserve this because yes, I have been through a lot. Despite your judging, quite loud selfish intervening thoughts… you don’t even know. I was lying to myself thinking I’d never find a friend, But I was faithful to the Lord even to the very end. And, the cons of what was meant to be can no longer envelope me because I know that I am free and yes I surely do believe… I have never gone astray from looking for the Great Escape. And every time I’ve cried, There was still hope in my eyes. Now this will never go away… For I have found the Great Escape. I can start living my life. That’s why today I fly… I know they said not to believe in me. I know they thought I’d end up just a sad young tragedy. But realize nothing is strangling or just tearing me. Forget the world and all the stupid animosity… that’s what that is. I spit first. Sometime I finish last. But I have passed the test in a course called, Life Class. That’s right, you wanna see what you’ve made of me. I am now a King I’m living out my dreams. Though the war has escalated more, I’ve got a stronger Core. I shall withstand all the storms. For, in these fragile bones lives my mighty throne, And in this strong heart lies a work of art. But I’ll never forget the time I had spent feeling sorry for myself and just about everyone else. I’m a million altercations made of colored cellophane. Put me on a clean slate, everybody knows my name… I remember looking for a place Where i could find a great escape. But it was all in my mind. Just had to leave some things behind. I was looking for a place Where I could find the Great Escape. But, it was all in my head. And now I’m conquering instead…

Confused?

I can't breath
his heart suffocates me
but in a good way
this is how i want it to stay

A New Chapter.

But, at the end of the day
I must realize
that these here... are not my real eyes.

They are only a mask
I wear to cover up
the scars of hurt
confusion, and demise.

The earth below me
is dead and bare.
The wind never has blown
through my hair.

My life is surrounded
by pain and blame.
And it seems as if
I'm made of cellophane.
Nobody knows my name.

Yet I'm the one who get's replaced
Unnoticed, unseen... untraced.
Who cares about me?
Who cares what I'll be?
It's like I take 2 steps forward
and I step back 3.

Yes, sure my confidence has grown
and sure my cockiness has shown.
But either way I'm still trying to figure myself out...
and there's no doubt--

that one day I'll rise.
I'll rise into the sky.
I'll shoot down all my obstacles and my enemies will pass me by.

That's when I'll know,
how far I can go.
And how strong I really am..
And how tall I can really stand.... <3

Dear Kemi, Cross the line.

Cross the line if you're so afraid of losing your boyfriend that you create stupid fights, are always getting mad over the smallest things, and act jealous when there is really no need to do any of those things. Cross the line again if you wish you could stop being so insecure and just be happy with what you have going with this person you love more then anything.


Sincerely,
Your Conscience.

I Set Fire to My Love (Poem Edition)

but not like this will she ever love again...
for some reason she could, but it isn't like she can
what a risk she took, in biting the lion
with the teeth of a man
and now she's the beach, with tears like black sand
and now shes beseeched back by an extended hand
does she go back with more demands?
or hide well, with what she had
in what she can
I ask you now, in the red ocean on black sand
do i swim to shore? or stay where i am?

07.21.2011

See now the dark side has passed over
my mind's no longer getting colder.

just reading your words
lightens up my heart.
you're the best masterpiece
a work of art <3.

07.21.2011

7:49 AM

7:49 in the morning.
Ain't been asleep all weekend.
And your face is what's been on my mind.

I don't remember exactly how we connected.
i just know that i cannot seem to take it.
i'm already so sprung
so many times i've said i was done.

you don't even have to speak
yet you draw me closer to you...
it's just something 'bout you...

you're gonna have to get a restraining order
because i can't ever
stop.
thinking about you...
watch me go crazy
my mind's getting Hayezier
as i try to spell out my words

but its a fact
that the more i'm attracted
the further you go...
and you already know.

i'm just saying we could be something..
i mean something more than just a summer fling
...you i'm just saying, i could be your new girl.
i'll blow away your world...

Delusional

I sit here standing in the mirror.
And I'm just thinking to myself...

I wish my vision would get clearer...
I feel so apart from everybody else.

I feel delusional
And it's all in my heart.
The only one loosing
seeing is believing
I guess it's okay not to be okay

DELUSIONAL.
I'm being shoved in the dark.
And there's nobody moving
there's nobody proving
that's its good to stay who you are...
no... no, no.

I'm standing looking in the mirror...
And I'm thinking to myself.
Why is everyone else is so much dearer.
Might as well put my talents on the shelf.

I'm feelin' delusional.
It's broken my heart.
Seeing is believing
Ain't nobody proving
That it's okay not to be okay

Feel like a fool.
I'm caught in the dark.
There's not much I'm receiving
Seeing is believing
Who said to be just who you are...?

i'm just staring in the mirror.
And i realize i don't know myself...

Moment of Glory

I'm not sure if I'm turning non-social. And now even "social" is barely even a word.
I just feel so alone in a crowded place. My voice is rarely ever heard.
Yet, a handful of perplexities become more a part of me. And every time, I do believe it does affect my self esteem.
I'm just an extra body that they put on the line. But they don't know that I'm a ten, and they are a five.
Yet it seems like I'm more and more disliked. There's something inside of me that people feel like they have to fight. Well, whatever it is, it's hard to hide. I keep getting my confidence confused with my pride.
But, at least I've stopped lyin'. When I overcome a challenge it makes me feel like a lion. There is a beast that lives within, and I'm not sure whether or not I should let it win.
People laugh and they joke when they see the things I do. But no one really ever knows all that I've been through. The only way you could really know is if you listen to and analyze my songs.
But for many people, that takes way too long.

As for me, and my story? Well, I'm just waiting for my moment of glory.

I Am.

I am.
Slowly suffocating.
Sinking into the ruins of what was and what used to be--
Used up to the halfway point but to the max.
Marching slowly through the downpour of sins
Waiting on Christ to rescue me from the familiarity of the unknown in which I stand.

Alone.
At peace.
Not with myself but with the kinder more vivid creative creations of the world that seem to whirl me into a fantasy full of blogs and wonders of trees and nature and twizzlers and green.

The Unseen.
The unburied...
Life.
The pathways to which I started.
Shrinking yet growing bigger all at the same time. I haven't reached the line , but I've found an equilibrium to where those ends meet, because I will not be stuck in the same place forever.
It is this. I am unsure.
But I claim my doubts and accounts for what's really real.
All the creative yet gory ideas and imaginations I'd steal.
Because they're just that good. But, you know nothing of that neighborhood.

Be good or be good at it. Be automatic.
Race for the finish line. . . Against time.
Because in the end











It's all worth it.

Desperately Seeking Sanity

I'm desperately seeking sanity.
It seems like I've been buried in water so deep
And no matter how many time I keep trying to get back up
The crashing waves just make me more and more weak.

They keep saying "Next week... Next Week..."
But when is that gonna come?
I want to live my life NOW.
I want to have fun.

I need to get things done.
There's so much I need to do
But how can I accomplish all of it,
When Im'm feeling so damn blue

Once again I look to the blue sky
I hope my hope won't die
This isn't what I like,
but no matter what, I'll try....



<3.

Grammy's Substance Abuse Music Contest

      So I had some ideas for this music video, but I'm not sure if it's gonna be possible because it's most likely going to be really expensive. Either way, here's my ideas:

 

      After listening to the beat multiple times and coming up with moods and pictures in my head, I thought the video could start out really dark and surreal. I could be in goth makeup and my clothes would be all black except for one accessory on me that would be really bright or neon. 

    I'm in a dark-lit jail cell with all these guys who have been arrested for substance abuse. There are tons of them... rows and rows of cells and they're all locked up with sullen, confused, and ashamed faces. In the begnning of the song I start talking to them about what they did, how bad it was, and how it affected them and the people they loved.  

     Part of the beat does this weird swirly thing where it kind of gives you almost a high feeling. That could transition to a scene where I'm talking to the kids who are currently encouraging substance abuse, warning them not to do it, telling them how horrible it is for their bodies, telling them to live healthy, etc. Towards the end, it'll flash back to the jail cell, and I'll be showing the kids what will happen to them if they continue. 

      I was also thinking that the jail cell could also be a metaphor for how some people get addicted so much that it's almost as if their trapped and bound to certain drugs or unhealthy habits. 

     Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure my non-existent funds will not supply the making of this non-existent video -__- But it's worth the dream :] 

Grammy's CompetitionNIH, MusiCares, GRAMMY Foundation announce 2011 Teen contest

      This is a really cool contest I'm trying to enter. In a nutshell, I have to make a song about drug and substance abuse and how it's not good for you, etc. I'm really excited because I already found a nice beat to use and one of my friends who actually got expelled for substance abuse said he was willing to help me with the project, especially since I've never done anything of that sort.
      The top 3 winners of the contest will get cash prizes, invitations to the  53rd Grammys rehearsal, and their song/music video featured on an organization's website. Once again, I'm so excited and I can't wait to start writing and recording! :]

http://www.nih.gov/news/health/may2011/nida-09.htm

Kiwi!

I am the female who is running this game. 

You just sittin lookin dumb 'cause they all screamin' my name.

Haha.

     I come alive in the nighttime. Nocturnal creature. I know my eyes are red and I look crazy, but nice to meet cha. I'm in the game. I do my thang. They know my name, though I always change. K is the Starr in the building. Yes, my lights shine way past the ceiling.
     You think you God's gift to the earth? A dime ain't even what chu worth. Matter of fact you's out the game. So it's game over, you forgot to save. Return to your cave. But remember to shave. I'm sit back in my chair and watch you slave over how good I'm about to be. Be good, or good at it. Forget this society.

My Dance Crew

If you don't already know, I really want to start up a dance crew this summer. I'll get into the kinks and problems and BS of the people who are in it so far later, but here's a few pictures of just the ideas I cooked up.

I was thinking of maybe having two dance crews within one. There could be the dance crew as a whole, but then within that, I could have the chicks vs. dicks so to speak.

For outfits, I would definitely want the crew to be colorful. Dry is out.

Gotta get with them i.am.me formations. They are so tight.

Little stunts.

Frienship of course and tight place to take pictures

Unity

. . . and for the guys crew there could always be an exception when it comes to me :]

For the girls crew we'd need to be on point and freaking fabulous.

On point.  Fabulous.

Possibly crew as a whole. I know I'm going to start out with more people than I'm going to end up with, but hopefully I can dwindle it down to the best dancers.

Oh Yes. That would be me sitting there, as the captain of the crew.

**sigh**

Young Girl. Big Dreams.

Trust No One

So , what is it? I'm just not good enough?
It seems like that's what it is.
Don't spare me my feelings.
Tell me what I missed.

I don't care if you're mean.
I don't care if i'm hurt.
By hiding the truth,
You're throwing my Heart in the dirt.

I just want clarity.
I want understanding,
But we won't get that
If we don't know where we're landing.

So now, I see.
This door has closed.
I'd jumped the fence
While the question was posed...

Where's the door?
What do I do?
I know my next encounters

will never again be related to you .

I'm done.
Today's lesson: Trust No One.

The War through the Door

Now that there's more words on my page,

I've stepped into a fresh new age.

As one door opens, another door closes

I'm beginning to break out of my cage

I always do my best
I've almost fixed the mess
I try not to regress
I am VERY blessed
I'm tryna let go
of all this stress
Yet, nonetheless
They are still tryna test me

Though I have overcame fear,
there's still alot that I need
to go through here.

Not tryna waste my time,
But things are boutta rhyme
I'm tryna keep it all in flow
I gotta stay in line.

Yes, now it's time to represent
I know just what to say
I ain't gon' be bent
I'm almost 16.
Yes, I've got it.
I try not to be mean
Like others were sent
to this cruel, corrosive crazy world.

People look at me, "Why's she such a mean girl?"
No, I'm really not...
Why's that all that you now see?
Let me life my life.. you will get the best in me.
A handful of perplexities becoming more apart of me
And now it get s so hard to breath
But know that I must believe
I'm tryna fight the lies,
and conquer all the fights
I'm tryna be alive
I'm tryna see the lights

Yet in my heart, I know
wherever I go
It's the LORD's love for me that will show
and He'll open the door.
He will give me more.
I'll never hit the floor,
Cause he'll help me through my war . . . <3

Fantasy Vs. Reality

Now , you've got me in your fantasies
These thing you said,
I know I'm about to believe
You've poured a gallon of hope in my heart
Manipulation? You've mastered the art.
The Domination of the absence of your presence
Reveals to me many life lessons.
I can't leave you
     with a sack of my trust.
The smiles, the stares...
     and internal lust.
I've taken apart every piece of you.
Don't underestimate what I can do.
Because I promise, that if we're through,
I'll have become something new.

A New Chapter: There's the Door

Love does not grow inside of me.
I grow with it.
Flipping my reality
Into something different.
My dreams, they soar.
Voices... they yell.
There's two doors.
And, one leads to hell.
However, I will be elevated
High into the sky.
Forever soul-mated.
The "good" in goodbye.
Yes, it'll be me,
Solid and true.
Phenomenally.
Just me along with you.

Behind another Door...

This seems to be a new chapter.

The room is empty.
And there is no one to lend me a helping hand.
The tears of blood-stained lust have been set on fire...
My heart beats no more.

In spirit, you said you'd be there.
Yes, you led me on.
But once again a separate reality clouded my judgement,
And I fell in love with... gave my heart to... someone or something that didn't even exist.

I'm looking now.
With my real eyes.
I can't stand the lies
That keep being told to me.
I've tried and I've tried.
       But now, I've had it.

Doors and Walls.

The wall that separates us was built long before I got here
I spent so much time
Wasted so much breath
and lost so many words,
trying to get past it.

But you're blocking me out without realizing that you are.
The lines are unclear.
I try not to fear
what your next words will be.
In your words it's uncertainty I hear.

I imagine myself in your arms.
Your clueless innocent charm
radiates throughout me.

But the door is already closed.

Confusion is All She Feels

You don't need to know
what I am...

thinking.

It's not like you even care.
...
and YOU! why do you
act like you love me?
You're so just not Fair.

Now I have you in my heart
but in a different compartment.
I can let you out,
but the lines I've drawn are so clear yet unclear because even though they're not there they still exist and
i'm trying to let you go.
I've closed my eyes
Held the tears in.
I don't know why but I didn't want to cry.
I want to be in your arms
And feel your warm embrace.
I want to taste your lips
and stare into your face

But I can't.

Real Eyes Realize Real Cries

See, Real Eyes Realize Real Cries...
This cry was real.
The tears are now dry and you can see the small drops of blood hidden behind the footprints of what used to be. The remnants of insanity.
Remnants of what had been there are still alive and they make me dive into the sky and turn my world upside down. Then I turn around and realize who I have become... a little.
These tears might be real.
but they are not normal. For they don't know why they even fall.
The Realization is painful, and yes it runs deep.
It runs deep.
The pain runs deep.
I've buried something Deep Down Remote Into the Ground,
a place where it could never be found...




I've just realized.
It's something
I can no longer


hide.

Clearly...

I now see that you're clearly not the boy for me. I thought I'd found hope and faith and lust. But you were just like the rest. Worse in fact. You came to me with a picture of a heart in your hands. However I thought it was real, for only real eyes realize real lies... but who says I'm really real?
     I searched for what would never be there. A friend. A lover. An affair. But just as we had a small dust particle of connection, the wind blew it away. I was left stranded, not knowing whether or not I should chase after that piece of dust and try to find the connection again.
      Should I try? Because I still have yet to know what you will see in my real eyes and I'm tryna see if I should just move to the other side and forget about some things that are real.
      Its time to heal.
Not that I've been hurt just now, but the pain from years ago has come around, and I'm left asking... Why?
Yet I kind of know why and I kind of don't. I'm almost there, I haven't missed the boat... yet.

Kewister

Small Desires

It Has Grown Inside of Me

Your words scream and the letters
        beam,
Yet the lines within them
        do not exist.

I can hear the echoes of
what hoes use to
jeer creeping back up to the surface.
...Only this time, it is not becoming
a part of me.

I'm surrounded by an invisible force field.
the words you said years ago
no longer pierce my self esteem in it's tender heart.

I have changed for the better.

And as I have advanced, you have regressed.
Your state of mind sends negative vibes
to my force
field,
causing me to twitch.
But I won't even itch.
I keep my eyes open.
Bluntly staring at the direction I want to go...
the only way i can fathom your presence
is something i don't yet know. But,

It has grown inside of me.

Awkward Silence

And there's nothing left to say
for even this is an awkward silence...

You're speaking too much
for my mind to hold all the words

So, They Say:

Real eyes Realize Real lies
And i'm trying to be the closest thing to real.

slurpin up and sippin up the savory desires
of what i thought i left behind me.
but it turns out i've buried it even deeper
        into the ground.
the lies people used to say no longer
        make a sound.
I'm waiting for my chance
        to conquer.
I'd rather be a mystery
Something unseen.
A beautiful dream
Waiting to be dreamt.
Waiting to be kept
and sent back into reality

because the sunlight in my eyes touches
my skin and bounces off my pores
releasing positive productive energy
to the human beings around me
causing me
to produce raining virtue...

Silence

Silence is the loudest piercing noise
And everyone seems to be yelling at
me and it's killing my ears
for their blank stares carry
more anger and frustration than
their eyes can fathom and their
words can describe.
I want to close my eyes
and listen to the strange silence.
the noise that fails to be
heard
for it is only heard when I am awake.

the shallow expectations of the
world scream in my ear
making my ear drums tingle
and causing my heart to beat.
I realize...

But I look up.

See now things of this world are
not relevant.
superficial desires-- just barely.
I can only be who I am
and by discovering who that is,
I will gladly stand
against hate but for hope
no need to sit around and mope. For,
if love guides my way
that's how i'll forever stay.

sincere in the light.
I'm here to fight this fight.

Inception.

The idea that an idea can be planted
in one's mind, then tentalized and
revitalized into mental action.

Who planted this idea in me?
Who is it to blame
that I'm going insane
with the crazy idea
of being able to reign?

Who told me
to be whatever I wanted to be
so now i want to be everything
And it's going to be
hard to stop me.

A Realization Age. The Beginning of a Revolution.

I keep hearing these crazy voices around me.
I'm tired of being sad while everyone else is happy
Real friends are so far
Fake friends are near
I don't feel like a star
There's more things that I fear. . .

Because when you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn’t such a big deal.

- Abed Nadir

Baby, You're a Firework ♥

Moment 4 Life

Its Lady Kiwi steppin' on the stage
This seems to be a realization age
I'm almost 16 and i'm still pretty clean
that's why there's not many words on my page

I try to do my best
i try to fix the mess
I try to pass the test
I want to be blessed
but it's so hard to progress
with all this stress,
yet, nonetheless,
it's my turn to impress them.

and cold bittersweetness of my mind
blocks my way to the path
if that makes sense
making me tense
and trace and pace the lines
between dreams and reality, slowing down my times

I guess now it's time to represent
Okay... what do I say? I'm not the president.
I'm just 15...
 OKAY ! I got it
I'm just realizing
that I'm a resident
Of this cruel, corrosive, crazy world.
People look at me ? "Oh! She's such a sweet girl!"
No i'm really not, but that's all ya seem to see.
Let me live my life. You will get the best in me.

Who's it to blame that I'm going insane
with the crazy idea of being able to reign?
what if i fall from the sky, like goodbye
like a teardrop in my eye. I don't wanna tell no lies.
Because I've lied. And that not only hurt
me but those who cared. That's why they ain't here
And that's why now I stare
Into the bright lights
something always seems to fight
something always seems to die
But it's time to revive

I Don't Have Many Words . . .

but i just wonder...
when does GOD expect me to realize
what he has in store for me
because it seems like
everything in this world is just too crazy.
Like i don't understand .

And As I Lie to Go To Sleep

i pray thee LORD my soul to keep ,

and in the morning , should i wake
let me live for Jesus' sake .

AMEN .

Picture Perfect

What You See Here...
Are not my real eyes
they are picture perfect
edited till they look like shining diamonds
gleaming in the sunlight with their ghostly stare
piercing into your mind, yet reeling your spirit closer to mine
only for me to push you away
Once you realize that you must use your magnifying glass,
you'll realize that these eyes are not real .
they are lies .
There for your eyes must not be real either
Because your eyes did not realize that my eyes were not real eyes but they were only lies.
They are edited . Picture Perfect.
And it should end there.

So Now, I Realize

A new chapter has begun.
You think you're number one.
Ha.
That's cute, son.




I have said all that I needed to say.
No more words need to be said.
For a wise mind once told me,
"If you have nothing good to say,
Don't say a thing."
And you wonder why I stay so quiet . . .

I Hope You Do Realize...

I hope you do realize
the lies that you hide.
Because Real Eyes realize Real lies
But you're nothing close to real...
'cause see this chapter of my life is not yet closed
In fact, it's just begun.
It's a whole new section
Called "The Realization"
Because I don't let my creativity take a hold me
therefore the cover of the book is yet to be seen.
But when you flip the pages and look deeper,
you will see the gears doing their job
grinding and switching gears
moving information from one conveyor belt of the mind to the other
till my brain is overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions,
and I'm left wondering. . .
Why?

Never Let A Fool Lead You On . . .

or I will sodomize your integrity .

Day of Silence

     Yes, I did participate. I have so many gay, lesbian, and bi friends, and they're all the best of the best people. Therefore, I always try to support them whenever I can. I want to live for the day that they will make it a federal law that it's illegal for states to keep two people of the same sex from marrying. How dare a government tell someone who NOT to marry? Then all the abuse and mistreatment the LGBT community has to go through on a day-to-day basis? It really makes me sad. I don't understand where a lot of people are coming from with the hate, and it always confuses me.

     Sooo the silence. I'm not gonna lie, it was really hard, but I actually liked it. I know my loudness is obnoxious, but at times it's almost uncontrollable. Back in middle school, I spent so much time trying to be like the other girls, that even after they changed and tuned it down, their habits still became a part of me. My mom is usually the person who will tell me I'm being loud and then I'll come to the same realization and feel as if I was just yelling at the top of my lungs. It bothers me, and I want to change that, but it seems so natural, almost. I slipped about 3 or 4 times today. I was really only little whispers, but I noticed that it was never when I was talking to someone. It  was always my opinions about things that I struggled to keep quiet about. Things I saw around me that I wanted to vocally respond to, but decided not to, or maybe my words slipped. It was a slight realization for me. What I realized? I actually don't know, but I just know that that's an important factor to something about me and who I am. I just need to think it through and dig a little deeper into myself . . .
    Eww. Dig. I don't wanna uncover all of that. But I guess I'll have to sooner or later...

I Mean... I Guess

I Mean... I Guess...
Its a phrase that I've had to say very often
because its clear that i'm not sure what's in front of me
i would be able to see what is in front of me
by looking behind me,
but there is an opaque glass pushing against my back
and when i try to turn around, all i see is the dark gray fog
clouding my judgement.
Yet, they like to say that "real eyes realize real lies."
And though that might be true,
But the question still remains: Who's really real?
I've kept my eyes on the prize
Since I once heard on the wind's breath,
"obstacles are the things that come only when
you take your eyes off of the beauty of the world
that you see," and want.
before you realize it, it's these obstacles you flaunt.
I've had my share of trials and tribulations
Sorry my life doesn't come with instructions.
That's why I make mistakes.
But you have no reason to judge me.
For this is who I am, and this is who I was meant to be
before i was formed in my mother's womb,
this was destined to happen. For i am becoming
a beautiful creature.  I might be on the dark side of the fence
but don't forget that I am a dark fantasy,
And what the Lord has in store for me?

That's something you'll be proud to see ♥

I Am a Fashionista.

FYI.

NEW SONG: THIS WAY by Yung Trae ft. Lady Kiwi

he's like a brother to me <3 click on the link or one of the pictures to download ! :]

Yung Trae

Lady Kiwi

This Way by Yung Trae Ft. Lady Kiwi

End of the Quarter?

I've been so stressed out lately. This is why I hate the end of the quarter -__- it's like i think i've finally reached the point where i get to take a break from all this stress but it seems even more stressful the last week because teachers are trying to cram last minute tests, projects and assignments into the last few days. And then if that's not already bad enough, a lot of teachers just go ahead and shoot into work for the next quarter. There's almost no break whatsoever, and it really pisses me off. I think that's one reason I always end up getting really lazy towards the end of a quarter or semester, because i'm always expecting at least a slight break but that never comes and instead of a break, I get more work.

I hate school. I just hate it. There's so many inappropriate words I could use to describe it... I just can't wait till i graduate

K Starr

I am a Star .

And I am me.

A phenomenal woman

relentlessly <3 .

          I'm thinking of getting a new hairstyle. I'm not sure what it will look like or if I'm gonna dye my hair or get highlights. I just know I want something different. I'm just not patient enough for my hair to grow out. I mean, I could wait, maybe by senior year it could be down to my shoulders. But I'm not sure yet . . . I have to think about it. As usual. But I also want a new wardrobe. I actually cleaned out my closet the other day and found all these old clothes that I forgot I had. For the past two weeks, in school, people have been asking me if I went shopping or something, and I'm all like, "nigga, I've had this since the 7th grade -__- " But it's all good . I must be doing something right. Can't wait to get money and get paid . I'm on my way to stardom ☆

I've Got the Upper Hand

I don't want you to think I'm concieted,

although many times I really am

I just try to have self confidence

and be a real woman

I don't see the point

in hiding behind lies 

for me that's so impossible

I can't make good alibis

So anyways I try

to be a good girl

but at times that gets hard

there's so much sin in the world

People got problems with me

But I don't understand

It's things I can't see

My freedom is banned

So now I live a lie

wondering what to do

I don't know my self

therefore I can't stay true

Maybe I'll wait

Maybe this will pass

I might get past the test

I might pass the class

Learning lessons of life

Learning from the strife

Driving with hype,

Not being scared to be a live

Not sure who I am

But I'm sure I will stand

I will not fall

I've got the upper hand.

The Baddest Broad.

I don't even understand what people have against me
Or the reasons why people don't like me
all I ask for is constructive criticism
Choppin off the parts and pieces of things I see and like and take and steal so other people will like to deal with me rather than ignore
the important words I have to say
I want to tell you
I want to be known
You need to and should know my story
but I'm so blown. Because look at this. Look at me . . . now I'm almost nothing. I thought I was on top but it seems I'm burning
Down to the ground. A hole of pity and shame. All of a sudden, ain't nobody know my name.

Some other trick is gonna come and take my place. I can see it now
I'm barely even on the stage, almost seepin' into the crowd

I have to figure out what I'm gonna do because if I stop now that means
all the time will be wasted and I'll just have to find more time to waste
with things that don't make me as happy or cause just the opposite
I'm a free phenomenal women with too many talents.
Most of which need more developing so now you see
Its me that's the problem
The rest of them are ready
but that is why you don't talk to me
that is why they ask you for a female rep and Kiwi doesn't come into your mind
because I'm not good enough. Or just enough
But "I'm trying to be better than just good enough."
Because I'm tired of my spotlight fading.
I need to be the center of attention. I'll admit it now, no matter how shallow that seems
Just give me a few months. Let me lead this Queendom.
I swear I'll be the baddest broad out there .