Clearly...

I now see that you're clearly not the boy for me. I thought I'd found hope and faith and lust. But you were just like the rest. Worse in fact. You came to me with a picture of a heart in your hands. However I thought it was real, for only real eyes realize real lies... but who says I'm really real?
     I searched for what would never be there. A friend. A lover. An affair. But just as we had a small dust particle of connection, the wind blew it away. I was left stranded, not knowing whether or not I should chase after that piece of dust and try to find the connection again.
      Should I try? Because I still have yet to know what you will see in my real eyes and I'm tryna see if I should just move to the other side and forget about some things that are real.
      Its time to heal.
Not that I've been hurt just now, but the pain from years ago has come around, and I'm left asking... Why?
Yet I kind of know why and I kind of don't. I'm almost there, I haven't missed the boat... yet.