A New Chapter.

But, at the end of the day
I must realize
that these here... are not my real eyes.

They are only a mask
I wear to cover up
the scars of hurt
confusion, and demise.

The earth below me
is dead and bare.
The wind never has blown
through my hair.

My life is surrounded
by pain and blame.
And it seems as if
I'm made of cellophane.
Nobody knows my name.

Yet I'm the one who get's replaced
Unnoticed, unseen... untraced.
Who cares about me?
Who cares what I'll be?
It's like I take 2 steps forward
and I step back 3.

Yes, sure my confidence has grown
and sure my cockiness has shown.
But either way I'm still trying to figure myself out...
and there's no doubt--

that one day I'll rise.
I'll rise into the sky.
I'll shoot down all my obstacles and my enemies will pass me by.

That's when I'll know,
how far I can go.
And how strong I really am..
And how tall I can really stand.... <3

Dear Kemi, Cross the line.

Cross the line if you're so afraid of losing your boyfriend that you create stupid fights, are always getting mad over the smallest things, and act jealous when there is really no need to do any of those things. Cross the line again if you wish you could stop being so insecure and just be happy with what you have going with this person you love more then anything.


Sincerely,
Your Conscience.

I Set Fire to My Love (Poem Edition)

but not like this will she ever love again...
for some reason she could, but it isn't like she can
what a risk she took, in biting the lion
with the teeth of a man
and now she's the beach, with tears like black sand
and now shes beseeched back by an extended hand
does she go back with more demands?
or hide well, with what she had
in what she can
I ask you now, in the red ocean on black sand
do i swim to shore? or stay where i am?

07.21.2011

See now the dark side has passed over
my mind's no longer getting colder.

just reading your words
lightens up my heart.
you're the best masterpiece
a work of art <3.

07.21.2011

7:49 AM

7:49 in the morning.
Ain't been asleep all weekend.
And your face is what's been on my mind.

I don't remember exactly how we connected.
i just know that i cannot seem to take it.
i'm already so sprung
so many times i've said i was done.

you don't even have to speak
yet you draw me closer to you...
it's just something 'bout you...

you're gonna have to get a restraining order
because i can't ever
stop.
thinking about you...
watch me go crazy
my mind's getting Hayezier
as i try to spell out my words

but its a fact
that the more i'm attracted
the further you go...
and you already know.

i'm just saying we could be something..
i mean something more than just a summer fling
...you i'm just saying, i could be your new girl.
i'll blow away your world...

Delusional

I sit here standing in the mirror.
And I'm just thinking to myself...

I wish my vision would get clearer...
I feel so apart from everybody else.

I feel delusional
And it's all in my heart.
The only one loosing
seeing is believing
I guess it's okay not to be okay

DELUSIONAL.
I'm being shoved in the dark.
And there's nobody moving
there's nobody proving
that's its good to stay who you are...
no... no, no.

I'm standing looking in the mirror...
And I'm thinking to myself.
Why is everyone else is so much dearer.
Might as well put my talents on the shelf.

I'm feelin' delusional.
It's broken my heart.
Seeing is believing
Ain't nobody proving
That it's okay not to be okay

Feel like a fool.
I'm caught in the dark.
There's not much I'm receiving
Seeing is believing
Who said to be just who you are...?

i'm just staring in the mirror.
And i realize i don't know myself...

Moment of Glory

I'm not sure if I'm turning non-social. And now even "social" is barely even a word.
I just feel so alone in a crowded place. My voice is rarely ever heard.
Yet, a handful of perplexities become more a part of me. And every time, I do believe it does affect my self esteem.
I'm just an extra body that they put on the line. But they don't know that I'm a ten, and they are a five.
Yet it seems like I'm more and more disliked. There's something inside of me that people feel like they have to fight. Well, whatever it is, it's hard to hide. I keep getting my confidence confused with my pride.
But, at least I've stopped lyin'. When I overcome a challenge it makes me feel like a lion. There is a beast that lives within, and I'm not sure whether or not I should let it win.
People laugh and they joke when they see the things I do. But no one really ever knows all that I've been through. The only way you could really know is if you listen to and analyze my songs.
But for many people, that takes way too long.

As for me, and my story? Well, I'm just waiting for my moment of glory.