My Academic Interests (NYU Supplement Question)

My greatest curiosity is what I have not yet risked. Exploring unknown territory and being able apply concepts from the past to our present go hand in hand. For example, at the Clive Davis School of Recorded Music, I was intrigued by a class where students had the chance to study the work of well-known preceding artists in a critical manner. Which is awesome. Why? Deep, creative, and analytic thinking has motivated me to achieve academic success. As I mentioned before, at NYU, I can use the city as my classroom. Not every answer is inside a textbook. I want to use my academic learning beyond the classroom to become even more cultured. My goal is to dive deep enough into a specific area of the music industry in order to breakthrough and change it. Change it how? I'm glad you asked. The music industry is very confining. It puts artists in a bubble. YOU are a rapper. YOU are a singer. YOU belong to country. YOU belong to hip hop. But who says people shouldn't be able to jump across genres? Why should we stay in our own bubbles? How else are we going to unite and encourage understanding across cultures? NYU's global network, and connections are all anyone needs to create that type change. I am steadfast in my belief that without having an open mind and an open heart, one can ever achieve true creativity. By the time I graduate from college, you will see a person who has thrived in an inner-city environment and projected change on a global scale.

Why NYU? (NYU Supplement Question)

NYU is not its own little bubble. I can walk outside and not just be part of NYU, but part of the world. It has always been in my lifelong goals to pursue an artistic education in New York. My mom, aunt, and cousin also attended NYU for their master's degrees, so to follow in the footsteps of people I look up to would be icing on the cake. New York City allows me to experience interaction with such a wide range of people from different cultures and ethnic backgrounds. I don't think I've ever been in a place that offers such a unique cultural mixing pot. New York will allow me to develop my performing arts skills and utilize learning experiences that I won't be able to find anywhere else.

What Intrigues Me? (NYU Supplement Question)

So let me guess. You probably think it's simple. Some farmer somewhere just simply cultivates his crops and sells it to the grocery store who sells it to us, the consumers. Duh, right? False. Actually, there are huge monopolies and injustices tied to raw food production. Times have changed. Businesses have evolved. For better? For worse? Being a person who considers herself to have a kind heart, I find it intriguing: the lengths people have gone over time just for money. The film "Food, Inc." does a fine job at depicting what modern farmers must go through as they try to keep food on the table while being forced to corrupt the food itself. Things have been overlooked by the government, by companies, and even by ordinary people. However the industry has spun out of control to such an extent that no one has been able to stop it. One reason that this film was so significant to me is because I see a lot of parallels between the food market and the music industry. The media is also owned by a very small number of corporations who dominate everything that we digest on TV, in magazines, and on the radio. Many people don't realize what they are being sucked into. They think it's all just a matter of who's talented, when it's really a strategic game of "Who can fool the most consumers?" The real question is, who will rise to the scene and propel change for both of these industries? Well, you're reading the words of someone who's already on the mission.

Ending.

And I told myself, that I would never feel this way again, for loneliness just seems like such a dire sin. I'd like to think that I was just so comfortable with myself That there is no absolute need for anybody else. But I guess I was wrong... I really thought I was strong. Turns out I'm just weak As anybody could be. The colored glass that I used to hide behind Is faded. Now I feel blind. No direction. No place to go. When I prepare for sunshine, Down comes the snow. I hope it's not bad though. Maybe I can figure this out. Everything happens for a reason Without a doubt. But this isn't for me. The dream that I see, because clearly, I don't even have the means. I mean I could try, but has that gotten me high? No, I'm still stuck. And I haven't had much luck. Though I'm still grateful for all the things that I have achieved. It still makes me wonder... What the heck does God really have in store for me?

Renewal.

It's time to relax.
Forget all the bull.
It's time to chillax.
It's time for renewal.


Where this life will take me,
No... I'll never know.
It's just a matter of time
before the God shows me where to go...

But I'm scared to ask for his help
because for too long I've neglected Him.

The Great Escape

This goes out to all the people in the bloody sufferings, the stains of lost love and emotions seems so overpowering You’re in a war full of battles tempting the demise of love. You’re waiting for redemption and the Savior to come from above. But, I must inform you that that ain’t all it took For me to open my eyes, scope around the place and look. It’s deeper than just wanting to know what comes next. It’s breaking down the walls and giving up your very best. It definitely ain’t as easy as it sounds, especially when you feel as if there’s no one else around. It's really not easy as it sounds especially when no one’s there. Like you’re the only person without a perfect life. It’s not fair. Just have faith. Realize and believe that the tree you planted once used to be a seed. This is for the ones who go through all the stress Of tryna love someone who only knows how to reject. It’s hard, yes I know— and you can tell me that I’m wrong. Just, realize that the constant trials help to make you strong. You’ve been looking for a way to find the Great Escape. And every time you cry, Ain’t no one there to wipe your eyes. Will this ever go away? Can you live your life? You’ve been lookin’ to escape the adversities and strife. And I know that things may not always turn out to be what they should be. But the only thing that matters is that I have hope and still believe That Karma still exists for all of human kind. It’s the people with the evil eyes that always end up blind. But that’s fine. Don’t worry about them. I know I was still a good person in the end. And always I tried my very best to strive For the fame, success, happiness and the good life. I am making ends meet, and I am staying strong, Though I sweat in the heat, I shan't be here very long. ‘Cause I’m free. I fly— Unbound from my chains. I’m crossing out the lists of “what ifs” and “never agains.” I am now a bird soaring in the sky. My dreams are now reality and so is living life. They said I wouldn’t make it, but see, look at where I am. I’ve helped so many people that they stick to me like plans. I have never gone astray from looking for the Great Escape. And every time I’ve cried, There was still hope in my eyes. Now this will never go away… For I have found the Great Escape. I can start living my life. That’s why today I fly… I have inherited royalty. I am a princess. Don’t care what your do or don’t believe. I do deserve this because yes, I have been through a lot. Despite your judging, quite loud selfish intervening thoughts… you don’t even know. I was lying to myself thinking I’d never find a friend, But I was faithful to the Lord even to the very end. And, the cons of what was meant to be can no longer envelope me because I know that I am free and yes I surely do believe… I have never gone astray from looking for the Great Escape. And every time I’ve cried, There was still hope in my eyes. Now this will never go away… For I have found the Great Escape. I can start living my life. That’s why today I fly… I know they said not to believe in me. I know they thought I’d end up just a sad young tragedy. But realize nothing is strangling or just tearing me. Forget the world and all the stupid animosity… that’s what that is. I spit first. Sometime I finish last. But I have passed the test in a course called, Life Class. That’s right, you wanna see what you’ve made of me. I am now a King I’m living out my dreams. Though the war has escalated more, I’ve got a stronger Core. I shall withstand all the storms. For, in these fragile bones lives my mighty throne, And in this strong heart lies a work of art. But I’ll never forget the time I had spent feeling sorry for myself and just about everyone else. I’m a million altercations made of colored cellophane. Put me on a clean slate, everybody knows my name… I remember looking for a place Where i could find a great escape. But it was all in my mind. Just had to leave some things behind. I was looking for a place Where I could find the Great Escape. But, it was all in my head. And now I’m conquering instead…

Confused?

I can't breath
his heart suffocates me
but in a good way
this is how i want it to stay

A New Chapter.

But, at the end of the day
I must realize
that these here... are not my real eyes.

They are only a mask
I wear to cover up
the scars of hurt
confusion, and demise.

The earth below me
is dead and bare.
The wind never has blown
through my hair.

My life is surrounded
by pain and blame.
And it seems as if
I'm made of cellophane.
Nobody knows my name.

Yet I'm the one who get's replaced
Unnoticed, unseen... untraced.
Who cares about me?
Who cares what I'll be?
It's like I take 2 steps forward
and I step back 3.

Yes, sure my confidence has grown
and sure my cockiness has shown.
But either way I'm still trying to figure myself out...
and there's no doubt--

that one day I'll rise.
I'll rise into the sky.
I'll shoot down all my obstacles and my enemies will pass me by.

That's when I'll know,
how far I can go.
And how strong I really am..
And how tall I can really stand.... <3

Dear Kemi, Cross the line.

Cross the line if you're so afraid of losing your boyfriend that you create stupid fights, are always getting mad over the smallest things, and act jealous when there is really no need to do any of those things. Cross the line again if you wish you could stop being so insecure and just be happy with what you have going with this person you love more then anything.


Sincerely,
Your Conscience.

I Set Fire to My Love (Poem Edition)

but not like this will she ever love again...
for some reason she could, but it isn't like she can
what a risk she took, in biting the lion
with the teeth of a man
and now she's the beach, with tears like black sand
and now shes beseeched back by an extended hand
does she go back with more demands?
or hide well, with what she had
in what she can
I ask you now, in the red ocean on black sand
do i swim to shore? or stay where i am?

07.21.2011

See now the dark side has passed over
my mind's no longer getting colder.

just reading your words
lightens up my heart.
you're the best masterpiece
a work of art <3.

07.21.2011

7:49 AM

7:49 in the morning.
Ain't been asleep all weekend.
And your face is what's been on my mind.

I don't remember exactly how we connected.
i just know that i cannot seem to take it.
i'm already so sprung
so many times i've said i was done.

you don't even have to speak
yet you draw me closer to you...
it's just something 'bout you...

you're gonna have to get a restraining order
because i can't ever
stop.
thinking about you...
watch me go crazy
my mind's getting Hayezier
as i try to spell out my words

but its a fact
that the more i'm attracted
the further you go...
and you already know.

i'm just saying we could be something..
i mean something more than just a summer fling
...you i'm just saying, i could be your new girl.
i'll blow away your world...

Delusional

I sit here standing in the mirror.
And I'm just thinking to myself...

I wish my vision would get clearer...
I feel so apart from everybody else.

I feel delusional
And it's all in my heart.
The only one loosing
seeing is believing
I guess it's okay not to be okay

DELUSIONAL.
I'm being shoved in the dark.
And there's nobody moving
there's nobody proving
that's its good to stay who you are...
no... no, no.

I'm standing looking in the mirror...
And I'm thinking to myself.
Why is everyone else is so much dearer.
Might as well put my talents on the shelf.

I'm feelin' delusional.
It's broken my heart.
Seeing is believing
Ain't nobody proving
That it's okay not to be okay

Feel like a fool.
I'm caught in the dark.
There's not much I'm receiving
Seeing is believing
Who said to be just who you are...?

i'm just staring in the mirror.
And i realize i don't know myself...

Moment of Glory

I'm not sure if I'm turning non-social. And now even "social" is barely even a word.
I just feel so alone in a crowded place. My voice is rarely ever heard.
Yet, a handful of perplexities become more a part of me. And every time, I do believe it does affect my self esteem.
I'm just an extra body that they put on the line. But they don't know that I'm a ten, and they are a five.
Yet it seems like I'm more and more disliked. There's something inside of me that people feel like they have to fight. Well, whatever it is, it's hard to hide. I keep getting my confidence confused with my pride.
But, at least I've stopped lyin'. When I overcome a challenge it makes me feel like a lion. There is a beast that lives within, and I'm not sure whether or not I should let it win.
People laugh and they joke when they see the things I do. But no one really ever knows all that I've been through. The only way you could really know is if you listen to and analyze my songs.
But for many people, that takes way too long.

As for me, and my story? Well, I'm just waiting for my moment of glory.

I Am.

I am.
Slowly suffocating.
Sinking into the ruins of what was and what used to be--
Used up to the halfway point but to the max.
Marching slowly through the downpour of sins
Waiting on Christ to rescue me from the familiarity of the unknown in which I stand.

Alone.
At peace.
Not with myself but with the kinder more vivid creative creations of the world that seem to whirl me into a fantasy full of blogs and wonders of trees and nature and twizzlers and green.

The Unseen.
The unburied...
Life.
The pathways to which I started.
Shrinking yet growing bigger all at the same time. I haven't reached the line , but I've found an equilibrium to where those ends meet, because I will not be stuck in the same place forever.
It is this. I am unsure.
But I claim my doubts and accounts for what's really real.
All the creative yet gory ideas and imaginations I'd steal.
Because they're just that good. But, you know nothing of that neighborhood.

Be good or be good at it. Be automatic.
Race for the finish line. . . Against time.
Because in the end











It's all worth it.

Desperately Seeking Sanity

I'm desperately seeking sanity.
It seems like I've been buried in water so deep
And no matter how many time I keep trying to get back up
The crashing waves just make me more and more weak.

They keep saying "Next week... Next Week..."
But when is that gonna come?
I want to live my life NOW.
I want to have fun.

I need to get things done.
There's so much I need to do
But how can I accomplish all of it,
When Im'm feeling so damn blue

Once again I look to the blue sky
I hope my hope won't die
This isn't what I like,
but no matter what, I'll try....



<3.

Grammy's Substance Abuse Music Contest

      So I had some ideas for this music video, but I'm not sure if it's gonna be possible because it's most likely going to be really expensive. Either way, here's my ideas:

 

      After listening to the beat multiple times and coming up with moods and pictures in my head, I thought the video could start out really dark and surreal. I could be in goth makeup and my clothes would be all black except for one accessory on me that would be really bright or neon. 

    I'm in a dark-lit jail cell with all these guys who have been arrested for substance abuse. There are tons of them... rows and rows of cells and they're all locked up with sullen, confused, and ashamed faces. In the begnning of the song I start talking to them about what they did, how bad it was, and how it affected them and the people they loved.  

     Part of the beat does this weird swirly thing where it kind of gives you almost a high feeling. That could transition to a scene where I'm talking to the kids who are currently encouraging substance abuse, warning them not to do it, telling them how horrible it is for their bodies, telling them to live healthy, etc. Towards the end, it'll flash back to the jail cell, and I'll be showing the kids what will happen to them if they continue. 

      I was also thinking that the jail cell could also be a metaphor for how some people get addicted so much that it's almost as if their trapped and bound to certain drugs or unhealthy habits. 

     Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure my non-existent funds will not supply the making of this non-existent video -__- But it's worth the dream :] 

Grammy's CompetitionNIH, MusiCares, GRAMMY Foundation announce 2011 Teen contest

      This is a really cool contest I'm trying to enter. In a nutshell, I have to make a song about drug and substance abuse and how it's not good for you, etc. I'm really excited because I already found a nice beat to use and one of my friends who actually got expelled for substance abuse said he was willing to help me with the project, especially since I've never done anything of that sort.
      The top 3 winners of the contest will get cash prizes, invitations to the  53rd Grammys rehearsal, and their song/music video featured on an organization's website. Once again, I'm so excited and I can't wait to start writing and recording! :]

http://www.nih.gov/news/health/may2011/nida-09.htm

Kiwi!

I am the female who is running this game. 

You just sittin lookin dumb 'cause they all screamin' my name.

Haha.

     I come alive in the nighttime. Nocturnal creature. I know my eyes are red and I look crazy, but nice to meet cha. I'm in the game. I do my thang. They know my name, though I always change. K is the Starr in the building. Yes, my lights shine way past the ceiling.
     You think you God's gift to the earth? A dime ain't even what chu worth. Matter of fact you's out the game. So it's game over, you forgot to save. Return to your cave. But remember to shave. I'm sit back in my chair and watch you slave over how good I'm about to be. Be good, or good at it. Forget this society.